I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
