turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
