put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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