no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
