I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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