It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Randomize
