he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
