It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
