Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
