Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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