I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
