I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
