Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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