We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
