He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Rumble strips road head = magical
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
