Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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