Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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