omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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