youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
