hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
