Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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