how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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