I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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