Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
