I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
