I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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