sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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