I think i sorta joined a cult last night
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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