Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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