So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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