the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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