i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
They have beer where we have blood.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
