Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we're making bets on your personal life
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
as a side note pls kill me
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
