Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
