Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
