A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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