They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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