carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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