My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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