She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
cat food counts as protein by the way
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
