i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
