No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
