you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
