mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
