she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
