So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
