The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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