She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
