i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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