Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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