So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
