i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
