That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i love accidental penises.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
