I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
