happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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